I want to talk about privilege. Privileges are unearned advantages tied to things like race, gender, language, or socioeconomic status — the parts of identity that shape how the world treats us, whether we asked for them or not.
I acknowledge that I have privilege, and honestly, I have a lot of it. I’m white. I speak English. I grew up in Canada, with family who had social and financial stability. These advantages affect the opportunities and safety I experience, even if I didn’t choose them.
I also recognize that Ottawa exists on the unceded and unsurrendered territory of the Anishinaabe Algonquin Nation. As a white girl, part of my responsibility is to listen, learn, and not dominate conversations that aren’t mine to lead. Racism is real, present, and painful. I see how deeply it still affects people every day, and I reject it completely.
I’m writing this blog to reflect on issues that matter. My goal isn’t to center myself, but to use the platform and privilege I do have thoughtfully. I try to be an ally, and where I can, an activist — someone who listens, supports, and uses my voice responsibly, not to speak over others, but to stand with them.
26 November 2025
Why wouldn't you want romance?
Romance is overrated. Loneliness is comfortable. I prefer to be alone. You don't have to answer to or entertain anyone. You can control everything in your environment, think of ideas, and listen to your music instead of someone else's.
Things people in Ottawa have ACTUALLY said to me when I say I'm asexual:
- "It's just a phase."
- "Is it just a phase?"
Why Broad City accidentally gives ace vibes
Broad City, a sitcom about two twenty-somethings in New York City gives such ace vibes.
Ilana and Abbi, the two main characters, are not only best friends but there are underlying tones in Ilana's character that suggest she's in love with Abbi or at the very least, has a crush on her. This isn't reciprocated, however. This unrequited, lesbian theme is relatable and hilarious.
The reason I love this show is because the main themes are friendship, girl power, and city living. There's none of this garbage about falling in love, getting married, or having a baby. These things are futile in my opinion.
Asexuality in the media
Welcome to the reason I started this blog! Asexuality is severely under-represented in the media. It's so under-represented that some people don't even know what it is. I didn't even know what asexuality was and I consider myself well-read.
I don't know what I was doing when I first discovered the term asexuality but I knew it resonated with me. I delved deeper, reading books and articles online. I quickly came to the conclusion that not only am I asexual, I'm the type of asexual who would prefer to never think or talk about sex, which means I'm sex-repulsed.
Does it come as a surprise to anyone that I, Victoria Hanson, am sex-repulsed? I'm repulsed by a lot of things and sex is one of them. I linked every single asexual book, website or resource I could find on this blog.
Asexual spectrum identities
Demisexual: Experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.
Graysexual (or Gray-A): Sits between asexual and allosexual (non-asexual), meaning they may experience sexual attraction rarely or only in specific circumstances.
Acespike: Experiences a sudden, temporary onset of sexual attraction.
Aceflux: Experiences a sexuality that fluctuates, with the intensity of attraction changing over time but remaining within the asexual spectrum.
Lithosexual: Experiences sexual attraction but does not reciprocate it.
Myrsexual: Experiences multiple ace-spec identities, which may be felt at the same time or fluctuate.
Asexuality vs. abstinence: Asexuality is an orientation, while abstinence is a choice to not have sex.
Romantic vs. sexual attraction: Asexual individuals can still experience romantic attraction to people of any gender (heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, etc.). The Split Attraction Model is often used to explain this distinction.
Aromantic: Some people are both asexual and aromantic, meaning they do not experience sexual or romantic attraction. This is sometimes referred to as "aroace".
Graysexual (or Gray-A): Sits between asexual and allosexual (non-asexual), meaning they may experience sexual attraction rarely or only in specific circumstances.
Acespike: Experiences a sudden, temporary onset of sexual attraction.
Aceflux: Experiences a sexuality that fluctuates, with the intensity of attraction changing over time but remaining within the asexual spectrum.
Lithosexual: Experiences sexual attraction but does not reciprocate it.
Myrsexual: Experiences multiple ace-spec identities, which may be felt at the same time or fluctuate.
Asexuality vs. abstinence: Asexuality is an orientation, while abstinence is a choice to not have sex.
Romantic vs. sexual attraction: Asexual individuals can still experience romantic attraction to people of any gender (heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, etc.). The Split Attraction Model is often used to explain this distinction.
Aromantic: Some people are both asexual and aromantic, meaning they do not experience sexual or romantic attraction. This is sometimes referred to as "aroace".
25 November 2025
🏳️🌈 LGBTQIA+
LGBTQIA+ is an acronym for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer (or questioning), intersex, and asexual, with the "+" representing additional sexual and gender identities not covered by the letters. The terminology is inclusive of a wide range of identities and is continually evolving as understanding of gender and sexuality expands.
What each letter stands for:
What each letter stands for:
Lesbian: A woman who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other women
Gay: A man who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other men
Bisexual: A person who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to more than one gender
Transgender: An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth
Queer or Questioning: "Queer" is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities, and "questioning" refers to people exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity
Intersex: A term for people born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, gonads, or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of male or female
Asexual: A person who experiences little to no romantic attraction. The "A" can also stand for Aromantic (lacks romantic attraction) or Agender (doesn't identify with a gender)
+ (Plus): Signifies that there are many other sexual orientations and gender identities not included in the acronym, such as pansexual, Two-Spirit, and others
Gay: A man who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other men
Bisexual: A person who is romantically and/or sexually attracted to more than one gender
Transgender: An umbrella term for people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth
Queer or Questioning: "Queer" is an umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities, and "questioning" refers to people exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity
Intersex: A term for people born with variations in sex characteristics, such as chromosomes, gonads, or genitals, that don't fit typical definitions of male or female
Asexual: A person who experiences little to no romantic attraction. The "A" can also stand for Aromantic (lacks romantic attraction) or Agender (doesn't identify with a gender)
+ (Plus): Signifies that there are many other sexual orientations and gender identities not included in the acronym, such as pansexual, Two-Spirit, and others
24 November 2025
Books
Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens On Our Sex-obsessed Culture - Sherronda J. Brown
Ace: What Sexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, And The Meaning Of Sex - Angela Chen
Ace Voices: What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi, or Grey-Ace - Eris Young
I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life - Cody Daigle-Orians
The Ace and Aro Relationship Guide: Making it Work in Friendship, Love and Sex - Cody Daigle-Orians
How To Be Ace: A Memoir Of Growing Up Asexual - Rebecca Burgess
A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality - Molly Muldoon
Hopeless Aromantic - Samantha Rendel
Ending The Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism and Agender Identity - Michael Paramo
Dear Wendy - Ann Zhao
Convenience Store Woman - Sayaka Murata
About ♠️🩶💜🤍
I'm Victoria and I identify as asexual. I never knew what asexuality was but on 4/29/24 I wrote in my diary, "I started reading a new book called Ace about asexuality because I think I just figured out that I'm asexual."
What is asexuality? Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others.
Why did you make this blog? Asexuality is underrepresented in the media. I made this blog to help shed light on the subject, to let others know they're not alone and to share resources I found.
I experimented because that's what you're supposed to do. Was I being intrinsically true to my own self the last 20 years? No. Ace people can be sex-repulsed, sex-indifferent, or sex-positive and may still engage in sexual activities for various reasons. I'm a sex-repulsed asexual which means the whole idea freaks me out. I'd rather never have sex again and never talk about it again. Present media shoves love, marriage and childbirth down your throat. It's about time we create media that represents something other than that.
It's not a choice. It's not a phase. It's who I am.
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