Privilege

I want to talk about privilege. Privileges are unearned advantages tied to things like race, gender, language, or socioeconomic status — the parts of identity that shape how the world treats us, whether we asked for them or not.

I acknowledge that I have privilege, and honestly, I have a lot of it. I’m white. I speak English. I grew up in Canada, with family who had social and financial stability. These advantages affect the opportunities and safety I experience, even if I didn’t choose them.

I also recognize that Ottawa exists on the unceded and unsurrendered territory of the Anishinaabe Algonquin Nation. As a white girl, part of my responsibility is to listen, learn, and not dominate conversations that aren’t mine to lead. Racism is real, present, and painful. I see how deeply it still affects people every day, and I reject it completely.

I’m writing this blog to reflect on issues that matter. My goal isn’t to center myself, but to use the platform and privilege I do have thoughtfully. I try to be an ally, and where I can, an activist — someone who listens, supports, and uses my voice responsibly, not to speak over others, but to stand with them.

Why wouldn't you want romance?

Romance is overrated. Loneliness is comfortable. I prefer to be alone. You don't have to answer to or entertain anyone. You can control everything in your environment, think of ideas, and listen to your music instead of someone else's.

Things people in Ottawa have ACTUALLY said to me when I say I'm asexual:

1. "It's just a phase."
2. "Is it just a phase?"

Why Broad City accidentally gives ace vibes

Broad City, a sitcom about two twenty-somethings in New York City gives such ace vibes.

Ilana and Abbi, the two main characters, are not only best friends but there are underlying tones in Ilana's character that suggest she's in love with Abbi or at the very least, has a crush on her. This isn't reciprocated, however. This unrequited, lesbian theme is relatable and hilarious.

The reason I love this show is because the main themes are friendship, girl power, and city living. There's none of this garbage about falling in love, getting married, or having a baby. These things are futile in my opinion.

Asexuality in the media

Welcome to the reason I started this blog! Asexuality is severely under-represented in the media. It's so under-represented that some people don't even know what it is. I didn't even know what asexuality was and I consider myself well-read. 

I don't know what I was doing when I first discovered the term asexuality but I knew it resonated with me. I delved deeper, reading books and articles online. I quickly came to the conclusion that not only am I asexual, I'm the type of asexual who would prefer to never think or talk about sex, which means I'm sex-repulsed.

Does it come as a surprise to anyone that I, Victoria Hanson, am sex-repulsed? I'm repulsed by a lot of things and sex is one of them. I linked every single asexual book, website or resource I could find on this blog.

Asexual spectrum identities

Demisexual: Experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.
Graysexual (or Gray-A): Sits between asexual and allosexual (non-asexual), meaning they may experience sexual attraction rarely or only in specific circumstances.
Acespike: Experiences a sudden, temporary onset of sexual attraction.
Aceflux: Experiences a sexuality that fluctuates, with the intensity of attraction changing over time but remaining within the asexual spectrum.
Lithosexual: Experiences sexual attraction but does not reciprocate it.
Myrsexual: Experiences multiple ace-spec identities, which may be felt at the same time or fluctuate.

Asexuality vs. abstinence: Asexuality is an orientation, while abstinence is a choice to not have sex.
Romantic vs. sexual attraction: Asexual individuals can still experience romantic attraction to people of any gender (heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, etc.). The Split Attraction Model is often used to explain this distinction.
Aromantic: Some people are both asexual and aromantic, meaning they do not experience sexual or romantic attraction. This is sometimes referred to as "aroace".